You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
