Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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