you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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