So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
