Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(510): View more from California

I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.

(1-510): View more from California

It was probably Jesus.

(510): View more from California

I feel like he would have left a message.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(510): I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number. (1-510): It was probably Jesus. (510): I feel like he would have left a message. http://tfl.nu/w24x

Replies (36) Good night (4405) Bad night (714)
Favorite
(209): View more from California

Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(209): Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/an4l

Replies (9) Good night (590) Bad night (3725)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it http://tfl.nu/8zt4

Replies (15) Good night (7717) Bad night (1122)
Favorite
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(412): Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends.. http://tfl.nu/z85j

Replies (9) Good night (5117) Bad night (1393)
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break http://tfl.nu/u8kr

Replies (38) Good night (9124) Bad night (1159)
Favorite
(619): View more from California

Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings http://tfl.nu/z81c

Replies (13) Good night (3737) Bad night (985)
Favorite
(432): View more from Texas

There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(432): There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses! http://tfl.nu/cuv6

Replies (9) Good night (2341) Bad night (940)
Favorite
(250): View more from British Columbia

She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(250): She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood. http://tfl.nu/8qzi

Replies (9) Good night (612) Bad night (2305)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night. http://tfl.nu/v41h

Replies (6) Good night (2328) Bad night (691)
Favorite
(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(787): I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now? http://tfl.nu/uqqo

Replies (8) Good night (730) Bad night (1463)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS! http://tfl.nu/2uiu

Replies (5) Good night (2289) Bad night (568)
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.

(1-816): View more from Missouri

I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week. (1-816): I think we all know your liver needs a man's name. http://tfl.nu/bufv

Replies (7) Good night (995) Bad night (299)
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.

(301): View more from Maryland

You have a very discerning palate.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze. (301): You have a very discerning palate. http://tfl.nu/r2sj

Replies (11) Good night (760) Bad night (790)
Favorite
(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(304): I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body. http://tfl.nu/upxw

Replies (2) Good night (414) Bad night (306)
Favorite
(740): View more from Ohio

I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(740): I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas. http://tfl.nu/p3js

Replies (4) Good night (485) Bad night (240)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: