Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well

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  (401): its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well http://tfl.nu/qkzl
  Replies (20) Good night (1560) Bad night (5413)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?

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  (765): Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband? http://tfl.nu/o4li
  Replies (178) Good night (1913) Bad night (14809)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day

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  (602): Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day http://tfl.nu/7jqo
  Replies (17) Good night (3663) Bad night (1319)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend

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  (850): i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend http://tfl.nu/u4us
  Replies (48) Good night (4285) Bad night (3019)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!

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  (+44): he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?! http://tfl.nu/a2n2
  Replies (19) Good night (4779) Bad night (846)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k

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  (908): HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k http://tfl.nu/jlb6
  Replies (10) Good night (1740) Bad night (1136)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.

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  (785): I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name. http://tfl.nu/h5ua
  Replies (8) Good night (736) Bad night (2686)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.

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  (910): I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect. http://tfl.nu/cd2m
  Replies (4) Good night (3217) Bad night (923)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ

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  (319): THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ http://tfl.nu/h11a
  Replies (15) Good night (3396) Bad night (1258)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.

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  (301): His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy. (1-301): I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok. http://tfl.nu/z40b
  Replies (16) Good night (3046) Bad night (702)
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  (626): View more from California

  I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.

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  (626): I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses. http://tfl.nu/ogb0
  Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (614)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.

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  (601): He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle. http://tfl.nu/m2od
  Replies (11) Good night (2452) Bad night (762)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right

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  (703): Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right http://tfl.nu/qcjq
  Replies (8) Good night (1931) Bad night (809)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.

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  (801): Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight. http://tfl.nu/rr81
  Replies (10) Good night (970) Bad night (450)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.

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  (678): If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself. http://tfl.nu/rz6k
  Replies (5) Good night (1290) Bad night (403)

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