some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.