he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I will be naked everywhere
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed