Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.

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(917): View more from New York City

He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(716): View more from New York

I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean

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(619): View more from California

Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.

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(949): View more from California

You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.

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(512): View more from Texas

Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow

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