I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
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separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
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I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that