ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
