I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
