She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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