Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
