your parents love me but you hate me
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize