I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
