Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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