Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
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we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
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I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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