even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
