Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
