she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
