meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
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She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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