I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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