3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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