I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
