Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
