She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
