My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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