Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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