Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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