if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
