just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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