Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you traded sex for a burrito?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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