Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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