I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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