Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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