I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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