Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
