I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
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Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
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We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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