I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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