when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
