Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger