I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize