i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
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I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.