i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.