You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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