I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
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I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
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Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor