you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog