My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
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I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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