You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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