I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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