How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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