so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
