"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize