Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
