some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Come on in and take your pants off
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