her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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