Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
