i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
