drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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