she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
