I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
