did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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