I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize