Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
