i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize