She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
