I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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