I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
should my penis look like a turkey
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
