So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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