Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
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He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
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I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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